Monday, March 11, 2013

My Guidebook - Lessons from Quran-1 - Part 2

Surah Al-Furqan: 69-74


In the Name of Allah Most Beneficent, Most Merciful

(69) Except the one who repents and believes and does good deeds, then Allah will replace the evils of such people by good deeds, and Allah is Most-Forgiving, Very-Merciful. 

(70) Whoever repents and does righteous deeds turns to Allah truly 

(71) And those who do not witness falsehood, and when they pass by the absurd things, Pass by them with dignity,

(72) And those who, when they are reminded of the verses of their Lord, do not fall at them as deaf and blind ones, 

(73) And those who say, “Our Lord, Give us, from our spouses and our children, comfort of eyes, and make us heads of the God-fearing.” 

 (74) Such people will be rewarded with the high place - because they observed patience - and will be received therein with prayers of their eternal life and peace.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

My Guidebook - Lessons from Quran-1 - Part 1

Surah Al-Furqan: 61-74

Highlights the characteristics of a true servant of Allah swt who are ordained for success in the hereafter.

In the Name of Allah Most Beneficent, Most Merciful

(61) And He is the One who made the day and the night following each other, for the one who wishes to be mindful or wishes to show gratitude. 

(62) The servants of the Rahman (the All-Merciful, Allah) are those who walk on the earth humbly, and when the ignorant people speak to them, they reply peacefully, 

(63) And those who pass the night prostrating themselves and standing before their Lord, 

(64) And those who say, “Our Lord, avert from us the punishment of Jahannam (the Hell); indeed, its punishment is a persisting affliction.” 

(65) Indeed, it is evil as an abode and a place to dwell in 

(66) And those who, when they spend, are neither extravagant nor miserly, and it (i.e. their spending) is moderate in between (the two extremes,) 

(67) And those who do not invoke any other god along with Allah, and do not kill a person whom Allah has given sanctity, except rightfully, nor do they fornicate; and whoever does it, shall face the recompense of his sin, 

(68) The punishment will be doubled for him, and he will remain there disdained, for ever

Summary of the Servant's characteristics:-
  1. They are humble with others, even to people who hurt them. They reply slanders & insults politely and in good manners - they don't let emotions of anger and hurt get the better of them and return the insults with more insults. They guard their tongue from expressing negative speech and harmful words i.e profanity and harsh rebukes. They further guard themselves from back-biting and spreading the misbehavior of the people who hurt them to others with the intention to disgrace them and smear their reputation, even if the things being said are the truth. Instead, the servants will reproach an insult by words of advice and if these are ignored, they will leave the conversation, leaning to Allah for consolation.
  2. They regularly performs Tahajjud & late night prayers. These are done consistently (not as and when liked or only at certain times i.e in difficulties and when facing problems) and against the struggle that comes with getting up from a sound sleep at those moments when it is the hardest to do. This persistence is the sign of commitment to get the acceptance from their Creator and desperation to be forgiven by Him, as well as the sincere demonstration of love, hope and confidence in their Lord's grace.
  3. They pray to Allah swt to be averted & protected from the punishment of Hell as they realize and are conscious of the impending constant suffering in it; they know that it is a very real and inevitable fate (not a fictional or metaphorical place and not something that will not happen to them) if they are doomed to be thrown in it. They constantly remind themselves and even try to visualize the condition of Hell as described in the Quran & Hadiths. They then become so affected physically & emotionally  by this visualization, that they become so fearful that Allah might make them one of it's dwellers due to the possible imperfections in their servitude to their Lord and the fear that maybe a single mistake may lead them to the misery of this punishment. 
  4. In spending, they are not excessive (blinded by desire to own things they do not need, with the wrong intention i.e to show off and in arrogance). They are also not stingy and are instead generous in spending in the ways ordained by Allah swt & encouraged by Rasul s.a.w.. Stingy behavior is observed in people who hold on steadfastly to their wealth and possession because they fear that their wealth will be reduced to loss even in spending for necessity, including for their own needs or for those in their care i.e wife and children, not to mention for others i.e charity. Both extravagance & stinginess are behaviors that are led by injustice, arrogance & the perception that one made & owns everything he/she has, forgetting that all that are owned including the self are from Allah & will return to Him; and that every person will be questioned on how he/she had managed the wealth that the Maker had assigned to him/her.
  5. They do not  associate partners with Allah in their hopes and desires for their needs to be fulfilled. They do not rely on creations i.e people or entities for help in fulfilling their daily necessities and realizing their long-term goals i.e relying on a doctor to get well from an illness, on an officer for a business tender to be approved, on a soothsayer or witchdoctor to tell whether their plans will work, or the self's abilities and talents to become successful in their ambitions. This false reliance will indirectly lead towards the mind-set that other entities besides the Creator affect & have an influence to one's success and failure - the association of partners to Allah swt who is in actuality the only Provider to all the creation at all times, in all situations. Instead, the servants place full dependence, trust and faith that only Allah fulfill their needs, provides safety in dangers, and is the source of all success and difficulties. They therefore only ask Allah for whatever sustenance, help and wishes they want to be fulfilled and they realize the ways in which these reach them are only the means and not the source. They also accept that if their needs are not fulfilled, it is for their best interest as they know that Allah who created them knows what is best for them. 
  6. They do not take the life of others who are innocent to remove themselves from a perceived difficulty i.e by taking over others' possessions through force by killing them, or by aborting a pregnancy in healthful conditions. Any injury that has to be done is only executed after following appropriate circumstances ordained within the ruling and decrees allowed by Allah swt i.e when one or his/her family member is equally harmed by others with malicious intentions.
  7. They do not engage in promiscuous behavior and protect themselves from such thoughts, behaviors and ways that will lead to impure/adulterous relationships. These are done through certain practices such as by wearing modest clothing and avoiding casual, flirtatious communication even if they seem harmless, to guard all their senses i.e sight, sounds, touch from attractions of the carnal desires. The servants will instead distract themselves from impure thoughts and desires by engaging in healthy and beneficial activities such as being involved in knowledge discourses, being among the learned and pious, fulfilling routine obligations at workplace and home with dedication and sincerity, observing proper diet and health habits, and in constant remembrance and consciousness that Allah is observing them - listens to their thoughts and words and watches what they do at all times and all places.

These characteristics are guidelines that defines a true servant. They are achievable, only if we are constantly conscious of our intentions and deeds, Insya Allah. The alternatives to these are truly disastrous -  as warned by Allah in verse 69, and therefore not an option at all. May Allah protect us from such ending.

Second part follows - describing circumstances in the case of which these guidelines are not followed, as well as the additional characteristics of the true servant.

Wastaghfirullahil Adzim, Walhamdulillahi Rabbil Aalameen. 

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

In Between

and thus, I have returned.
is it for good?
we shall see...

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Tentang Harapan

Aku sebenarnya kusut dan ralat
terhadap apa yang telah kutemui di sini.

Sejalur cahaya halus
dan nipis
menembusi ruang
yang gelap dan sempit.
Seolah-olah menjanjikan terang
yang meliputi.
Tetapi hanya tinggal sejalur cahaya
nipis dan semakin kusam.

Yang aku harapkan
adalah matahari,
terangnya melangkaui cakerawala
melepasi galaksi,
ke penghujung semesta.

Selingkar air menyulur
di dalam parit.
Seolah-olah menjanjikan
tasik yang penuh melimpah
di penghujungnya.
Tetapi kekal hanya air di parit yang
sebentar nanti akan
kering dan lenyap.

Yang aku harapkan
adalah lautan luas
dan tenang.
Tertebar bebas melepasi sayang-sayap unggas,
ke penghujung horizon.

Aku yang mungkin sempit,
dan mampu hanya
tentang sesuatu yang tidak mungkin
akan terjadi di sini.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010


O illusive friend
embrace me;
won't you stay here
just for a bit longer
and make me forget
of this gaping emptiness.

How I wish
that you don't ever have to go
that I don't have to feel the cold
of your absence
all over again.

Monday, March 29, 2010

With A Trembling Heart

Dear God

Please let me pass through this
with my two feet still walking
and my hands facing up
in search of spaces
where there is You

So that I will still feel
that I'm not alone in this
And that I have the courage
to do what I've meant to do

Thursday, March 11, 2010

A Poison Tree

I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.
And I watered it in fears
Night and morning with my tears,
And I sunned it with smiles
And with soft deceitful wiles.
And it grew both day and night,
Till it bore an apple bright,
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine,--
And into my garden stole
When the night had veiled the pole;
In the morning, glad, I see
My foe outstretched beneath the tree.
William Blake 

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Map of the Problematique

Fear and panic in the air
I want to be free
From desolation and despair

And I feel
like everything I sow
is being swept away
well I refuse to let you go

I can't get it right
since I met you

Loneliness be over
when will this loneliness be over

Life will flash before my eyes
so scattered and lost
I want to touch the other side

No one
thinks they are to blame
why can't we see
when we bleed
we bleed the same

I can't get it right
since I met you

Loneliness be over
when will this loneliness be over

Wednesday, January 27, 2010


Kau bukan kekasihku
Lantas harus aku berputus asa padamu
Kerana kau sudah sempurna
dan aku tidak bisa melengkapimu

Thursday, December 17, 2009

The Second Coming

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;

Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;

Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,

The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere

The ceremony of innocence is drowned;

The best lack all conviction, while the worst

Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: a waste of desert sand;
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Wind shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

William Butler Yeats

Wednesday, December 9, 2009


Open the skies over me
I am waiting patiently
I'll wait for a sign

As conspiracies unwind
will you slam shut or free your mind?
or stay hypnotized

When the Zetas fill the skies
will our leaders tell us why
fully loaded satellites
will conquer nothing but our minds

I am waiting patiently
I'll wait for the sign

Carried through the centuries
secrets locked up
and loaded on my back
and it weighs me down

When the Zetas fill the skies
it's just our leaders in disguise
fully loaded satellites
will conquer nothing but our minds

I am waiting patiently
I'll wait for the sign


Thursday, December 3, 2009


A dead dog on the roadside.

No tragedy there
No one's mourning
What a waste.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

A Fool's Odyssey

It is when I try too hard
that you fade.

But I can't stop now,
flowing through to you
Against this relentless deafening current,
for this stupid love.
My skin peels away
beating against the jagged boulders
Missing a thousand times
the jaws that stand waiting.

Don't you see?
That it is my nature
to kill myself
to love you.

But I can't stop now
'Cause either way
it is the end of me.
And I won't let this end
Without finding my way home
back to you.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Hate This And I'll Love You

Oh I am growing tired
Of allowing you to steal
Everything I have
You're making me feel
Like I was born to service you
But I am growing by the hour

You left us far behind
So we all discard our souls
And blaze through your skies
So unafraid to die

'Cause I was born to destroy you
And I am growing by the hour
And I'm getting strong in every way

You led me on
You led me on

I'm getting strong in every way

Matthew Bellamy



Please father
don't send me away.
Please mother
don't give me away.
Please sister
don't let them take me away.
Please brother
please let me stay.
Let me stay here with all of you
that I love.

Because the world is too beautiful and weary
and it is cruel.
And it wants
to take me to pieces.

And if I come back
I'd be lost.
All that you have made of me
would be withered and undone.


I am the earth
And I'm the sky.
I'm blue
And I'm red.

I'm simple
And I am complicated.
I am a genius
And I'm a fool.

I'm whole
And I am in pieces.
I'm me
And I am you.

I'm everything
And I am nothing.
I'm alive
And I'm dead.

I am here
And I am gone.

Monday, November 16, 2009

The Twilight Saga

Yes, I'm into them too, head to toe...completely.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

New Divide

I remembered black skies,
the lightning all around me
I remembered each flash
as time began to blur
Like a startling sign
that fate had finally found me
And your voice was all I heard
that I get what I deserve

So give me reason
to prove me wrong,
to wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross
the distance in your eyes
Give me reason to fill this hole,
connect the space between
Let it be enough to reach the truth
that lies across this new divide

There was nothing in sight
but memories left abandoned
There was nowhere to hide,
the ashes fell like snow
And the ground caved in
between where we were standing
And your voice was all I heard
that I get what I deserve

So give me reason
to prove me wrong,
to wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross
the distance in your eyes
across this new divide

In every loss, in every lie,
in every truth that you'd deny
And each regret and each goodbye
was a mistake too great to hide
And your voice was all I heard
that I get what I deserve

So give me reason
to prove me wrong,
to wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross
the distance in your eyes
Give me reason
to fill this hole,
connect the space between
Let it be enough
to reach the truth that lies
Across this new divide

Linkin Park

Monday, June 15, 2009

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Mad World

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World
Enlarging your world

Gary Jules

Thursday, January 29, 2009


Ok, my brother a.k.a Gundz tagged me. Actually this is the first time I am tagged, so I am officially dah jadi jakun.. :p .. Anyway, here goes..

1. I am (waiting to clock out! - still got 7 hrs to go..eeeee!)

2. I really want to go to (Pulau Perhentian..I'm desperately pining for it-refer to previous entry...)

3. My favourite place (in a movie theatre, watching a good movie)

4. My favourite things are (books & great desserts...yummy)

5. My favourite drink (mango lassi)

6. My favourite food (lamb, especially grilled or BBQed)

7. My favourite colour-s (blue, green & beige)

8. I live in (Kesuma Lakes, Beranang)

9. I was born in (Kuala Lumpur - Jln Ipoh)

10. I attended (SMJB, Kajang High & UKM)

11. My favourite story-ies (The House of The Spirits by Isabel Allende & all Roald Dahl's stories)

12. Hobby (watch movies - nowadays :p)

13. I wish for (selamat dunia & akhirat)

Ok, so that's that.. but there's a problem now...who to tag next? Hmmm...
Whoever that reads this and haven't been tagged on the same subject.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The Great Escape

to be right there, on the flawless beach of Perhentian Island.. lying on the hammock, cool breeze on my skin...

And going island hopping to remote abandoned corners, on transparent waters...

Where the animals are friendly...

Perfect getaway,
Beautiful daydream...

Sigh....Can't wait to go back there.

Friday, November 21, 2008

What are You Looking for?

Is not here
The anticipation
to feel your tired soul at the end of the day
to take off that burden
has left me

Drained out in sharp seeps
over subtle moments
almost unfelt
A universe of agony somewhere else
more blunt
that I could never know it

So, what is it?

On this parched ground
monotonous as far as the eye can see
you are a nonentity
colourless and vacuum

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Why I Love My Life

This year has been by far the toughest in my life.
I had to make the most difficult decision I've ever had to make - to leave the life I've had, to finally give up on it after struggling like mad to make it work.
Facing the consequences & my fear, I had to fight hard, against all odds, against the worst possible outcome.
Had to fight harder as the retaliations were becoming more intimidating and cunning. At times, it seemed really bleak, and I was right at the verge of crashing and breaking to pieces.
I won. And I was not thrilled or happy as many thought I would or should; it was not a struggle for freedom. But a loss and the end of certain hopes and what should have been for me and for others who have had the same hopes for us.
I was re-introduced to the solitude of singlehood. Everything seemed different now.
My sister, my roomate moved out. That was surprisingly though to handle.
My car was giving me some real serious problems, had to spend unbelievable amount of cash that I didn't have to fix it & was warned that more of this is expected in the near future. I'm broke, and I'm really angry and bitter toward him and at my own stupidity for believing in what we had when I knew that everything was going against my instinct from the very beginning.
My former family attempted to rebuild the broken bridge. I love them and I really missed them, but I don't know how to handle this unchartered territory. It's too risky. It seems so much easier to just let it all go than holding on to pieces that you think is alright. The fact is it's not, because the fight is not over and I know for fact that they'll stop loving me then; and the pain will be worse.
Sis's wedding is over but unsettled matters remained.
Financial crisis started to hit. Can't make ends meet. I hate to ask others for help, to be seen vulnerable. I had to find alternatives & make more tough choices. I let go all the valuable belongings that I own, besides the crucial ones . Everything goes, but not all are going easily, still. But I had to let them go.
So I had to find more alternatives. Started with the 'work very hard' days for the next few months. I hated it but I had to. And they proved to be really hard. On some of these days, when things are harder than usual, I cursed the x more than usual, becoming more bitter and angrier. I should not, no point in it, but I can't help it.
My confinement period is over & the x has started to bug me, literally, with his creeping crawling sms's. The after effect: the feeling of icky-ness and disgust on my skin, the pit of my stomach and right into my head. That too has been more difficult to handle than I thought. The hole in my bank account is getting bigger and the 'work hard days' haven't shown the kind of immediate solution that I was expecting. My salary evaporated within days and unpaid bills and expenses lined up in a restless queue, demanding to be settled. And the scarcity crept further.
I have officially become the member of the a new growing society (I heard this term used in a local tv program): the poor middle class.
Faced a serious challenge at work, one of the worst in my career which was completely unneccesary and did not make sense. Simple task, but the too many beuracratic nonsence, coated with sheer arrogance of some senior baboons in the organization, made it impossible to handle. It was finally completed, but the tensions were seriously not worth it.
It's only the beginning of the month and my car was hit in an accident. This has resulted in a series of complications that I'm still trying to cope, not to mention others.
All of these looks like a long list whining. But they are not intended to be percieved that way, because In spite of these 'difficulties', I truly feel blessed.
I've realized and I am reassured time and time again that I've got the greatest parents and siblings in the world and that I am surrounded by family and some significant people whom without their support, I would have just sank and drowned in my misery.
I've became closer to a few very good friends and made some new ones. Depite the financial crisis, I don't feel bogged down by them. My mother & father taught me that every problem comes from God and He will provide solutions and opportunities, as long as we open our minds to the possibilities that lie in front us and are not afraid to take chances.
Most of all, I just can't believe that I've done all the otherwise crazy things that I've done this year. The courage, strength and convictions are the most precious discovery that I've made about myself. For that I can't be thankful enough to the Almighty God, because He has bestowed them to me.
A couple of well known cliches state that: What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger, and that when you hit rock bottom, the only direction to go next is up! For me, they have been absolutely true!
It's the worst year of my life. And I've never felt better.
Alhamdulillah to the Most Merciful and Compassionate.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008


On a very hot afternoon:-

(walking towards the pak guard, fuming) Encik, encik, nak bagitau ni..

Pak Guard:
Apa dia, kenapa nih?

Ada orang parking kat tempat saya la, dah banyak kali dah ni kereta yang sama. Kalau parking sekejap tu takpe la, tapi ni dah tiga empat kali dah dalam dua minggu ni. Pastu dia parking dari pagi sampai petang pulak tu!

Pak Guard:
Oooo, ni kita boleh ambik tindakan. Cik tunjuk kat saya kereta mana, saya panggil orang-orang saya untuk clamp kereta tu. Haii.. selalu problem orang parking kat tempat staff ni..

(walking towards my parking space with the Pak Guard) Tu lah, dah la panas, macam hari tu hujan lebat, pastu saya kena parking kat tempat orang lain, jauh betul. Geram betullah diorang ni!

Pak Guard:
Ok, ok, kita akan uruskan problem cik.. (arrived at my parking)... Eh! Alamak...Hehehehe..

Apasal encik?!

Pak Guard:
Hmmm.. Ni kereta saya la, sorry la ye, saya alihkan sekarang jugak. Sorry la ye, sorry...

What the...!
Harapkan pak guard, pak guard makan padi..

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Black and White

unravel me
a distant cord
on the outside is forgotten
a constant need
to get along
and the animal awakens
and all I feel is black and white

the road is long
the memory slides
to the whole of my undoing
put aside
I put away
I push it back to get through each day

and all I feel is black and white
and I'm wound up small and tight
and I don't know who I am

everybody loves you when you're easy
everybody hates when you're a bore
everyone is waiting for your entrance so
don't disappoint them

unravel me
untie this cord
the very centre of our union
is caving in
I can't endure
I am the archive of our failure

and all I feel is black and white
and I wound up small and tight
and I don't know who I am

everybody loves you when you're easy so
don't disappoint them

Sarah Machlaclan

Friday, June 20, 2008


Thank God for weekends!

Friday, June 6, 2008

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

And Returning to Me

Moving into the depth
of a strange water
I looked for a place
for me in the abyss

You haunted me
and I passed you by
time and time
kept you waiting
in my bliss
and I was lost

My bubble burst
drowning in stiff water
my eyes wide and stinging

I've got to tell you
about the state that I am

The truth is
I miss you
And I am tired
of looking away

So I crawl back into your arms
And you are
the warming sun

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Erasing You

I'm walking
on my way
to a place
where there is no more traces
of you
leaving you behind

get out of my skin
for I've severed you with
blunt silences

bleed where you are
I will not stain my path

I've walked
to where there is no more traces
of you
you are left behind

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Salawat to Ummiyin Rasul S.A.W

O Messenger of Allah! May salutations be upon you.
O Messenger of Allah! May salutations be upon you.
O the Most exalted by Allah! May salutations be upon you.
O the Best of all the creations of Allah! May salutations be upon you.
O the Beloved of Allah! May salutations be upon you.
O the Leader of all Messengers! May salutations be upon you.
O the Last of all the Messengers! May salutations be upon you.
O the Messenger of the Lord of All the worlds! May salutations be upon you.
O the Leader of the persons having enlightened faces and hands (on the Day of Judgement)! May salutations be upon you.
O the Harbinger of good tidings! May salutations be upon you.
O the Warner! May salutations be upon you.
(O the Messenger) May salutations be upon you, and upon your chaste and pious family members.
(O the Messenger) May salutations be upon you, and upon your chaste wives who are the mothers of the believers.
(O the Messenger) May salutations be upon you and your Companions.
O the Messenger! May salutations be upon you and upon all the Nabis and Messengers of Allah; and upon all the righteous servants of Allah.
O Messenger of Allah! May Allah give you the best reward on your behalf, such reward which was never given to any messenger on behalf of his people. May Allah shower His Blessings upon you whenever people may talk about you and even when negligent people neglect your remembrance. May Allah shower His Blessings upon you among all the ancient people and among all the modern people; such choicest, perfect and pure blessings which never before were showered by Allah upon any of His servants. May Allah shower blessings upon you in the similar way as He guided us from the wrong path and removed our blindness because of your auspiciousness.
I bear witness that their is no God but Allah, and I bear witness that you are His servant and Messenger, trustworthy and the Best of all His creation.
I bear witness that you have conveyed the message of Allah and discharged the duty of the trust; and advised the Ummah (Community) and struggled in the path of Allah with right endeavor.
O Allah! Bestow Thy choicest Blessings upon the Holy Last Messenger beyond the expectations of those who expect for them.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Carry On

Kumenatap langit yang tenang
Dan tak kan menangisi malam
Untuk tetap berdiri
melawan hari
Kuakan bererti
ku takkan mati

Mungkin masaku telah berlalu
Mungkin hatiku tak berbentuk lagi
Rasa ini takkan terubati
Tetapi mati takkan mengubati

Kumenatap langit yang terang
Dan takkan menangisi malam
Kutetap berdiri...kumelawan hari
Ku akan bererti
ku takkan mati

2 DSD by Peterpan

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

The Grace

'Then I will come at them, from in front of them behind them, from their right and from their left. You will not find most of them thankful.' (Al-A’raf:17)

One of the predominant characteristics of us human beings are that we are full of flaws and imperfections; opposite of Allah who is the origin of all the glory, beauty and wholeness, manifested in His Asma-ul-Husna. Each of the Asma reveals an aspect of Allah that is discernable through the uniqueness, intricacy and the splendours of His creations and countless blessings that envelopes us and flow within us without us being aware of them.

He is the Creator and we, as part of the creations are at the mercy of Allah’s grace – the gift of existence, of air that we breathe, the mind to think and make choices, the body to perform whatever tasks to fulfill our needs, the food and water that we consume, in different forms, shapes, colour, flavour and the tounge to taste, the stomach to digest them accordingly and to absorb the good from them and remove the bad and unnecessary. And all the sights that we observe, the environment that live in, the places that we go to, the tools that we use and depend on, that we need to get our life going the way we have planned or to our likings, every second and moment of time.

The now, and the memories that makes us smile or frown, that taught us some lessons and fills our life with experiences, wisdom, and shapes who we are now and what we will become, of the possibilities and hopes that we have for the future and when things work out as planned or even better than what we have hoped for. And the people that we have around us, our loved ones, friends and acquaintances, enemies and strangers who enrich our lives and gives us some purpose in waking up everyday and going about living our life.

Every second of our existence is a precious gift from Allah, but how often do we even realize that at any next second it will all end or will be taken away from us. How often do we realize the extent of Allah’s uncountable and inconceivable gifts that He is granting us? Can all the Alhamdulillahs or thank you ever be sufficient to embody the amount of gratitude that should fill our hearts and minds?

And yet, all we do mostly is complain of all the things that we don’t have and the things that went or going wrong for us or in the world we live in. But who are we to say that all these wrongs are wrong? Is not Allah who makes things happen the way they happen, even the bad ones? We, who cannot even see an inch beyond our scope of vision or hear a decimal beyond our hearing capacity; or be sure of what others are thinking even if that person is standing right in front of us? Countless limitations compared to the perfection of Allah, the Grand Designer, the Knower of all things, the Master Planner. He plans, He designs and He initiates. He draws the paths, many of them and He puts in the hearts, minds, movements, actions; every little thoughts, deeds and words of the knowledge and ability to take any of the paths that are laid.

He rewards and He punishes. Can any reward be more glorious that His and any punishment be more intense than His?

Any blessing you have is from Allah. Then when harm touches you, it is to Him you cry for help. (An-Nahl: 53)

Monday, February 11, 2008

Deep Thinking - An Article by Harun Yahya

The following article is from I love to read his writings - brings me closer to the understanding of who I am and what life and the rest of the world are all about. This one in particular is one of my favourite:-
Have you ever thought about the fact that you did not exist before you were conceived and then born into the world and that you have come into existence from mere nothingness?

Have you ever thought about how the flowers you see in your living room everyday come out of pitch black, muddy soil with fragrant smells and are as colorful as they are?

Have you ever thought about how mosquitoes, which irritatingly fly around you, move their wings so fast that we are unable to see them?

Have you ever thought about how the peels of fruits such as bananas, watermelons, melons and oranges serve as wrappings of high quality, and how the fruits are packed in these wrappings so that they maintain their taste and fragrance?

Have you ever thought about the possibility that while you are asleep a sudden earthquake could raze your home, your office, and your city to the ground and that in a few seconds you could lose everything of the world you possess?

Have you ever thought of how your life passes away very quickly, and that you will grow old and become weak, and slowly lose your beauty, health and strength?

Have you ever thought about how one day you will find the angels of death appointed by God before you and that you will then leave this world?

Well, have you ever thought about why people are so attached to a world from which they will soon depart when what they basically need is to strive for the hereafter?

Man is a being whom God furnishes with the faculty of thought. Yet, most people do not use this very important faculty as they should. In fact, some people almost never think.

In truth, each person possesses a capacity for thought of which even he himself is unaware. Once man begins to use this capacity, facts he has not been able to realise until that very moment begin to be uncovered for him. The deeper he goes in reflection, the more his capacity to think improves, and this is possible for everyone. One just has to realise that one needs to reflect and then to strive hard.

Someone who does not think will remain totally distant from truths and lead his life in self-deception and error. As a result, he will not grasp the purpose of the creation of the world, and the reason for his existence on the earth. Yet, God has created everything with a purpose. This fact is stated in the Qur'an as follows:

We did not create the heavens and the earth and everything between them as a game. We did not create them except with truth but most of them do not know it. (Surat ad-Dukhan: 38-39)Did you suppose that We created you for amusement and that you would not return to Us? (Surat al-Muminun: 115)

Therefore, each person needs to ponder the purpose of creation, first as it concerns him himself, and then as it pertains to everything he sees in the universe and every event he experiences throughout his life. Someone who does not think, will understand the facts only after he dies, when he gives account before God, but then it will be too late. God says in the Qur'an that on the day of account, everybody will think and see the truth:

That day Hell is produced, that day man will remember; but how will the remembrance help him? He will say, "Oh! If only I had prepared in advance for this life of mine!" (Surat al-Fajr: 23-24)

The truth can be told to a person in many different ways; it can be shown by the use of details, pieces of evidence and by every means. Yet, if this person does not think over this truth on his own, sincerely and honestly with the purpose of comprehending the truth, all these efforts are useless. For this reason, when the messengers of God communicated the message to their people, they told them the truth clearly and then summoned them to think.

While God has given us a chance in the life of this world to reflect and derive conclusions from our reflections, to see the truth will bring us great gain in our life in the hereafter. For this reason, God has summoned all people, through His prophets and books, to reflect on their creation and on the creation of the universe:

Have they not reflected within themselves? God did not create the heavens and the earth and everything between them except with truth and for a fixed term. Yet many people reject the meeting with their Lord. (Surat ar-Rum: 8)

A man who reflects grasps the secrets of God's creation, the truth of the life of this world, the existence of hell and paradise, and the inner truth of matters. He gets a deeper understanding of the importance of being a person with whom God is pleased, and so he lives religion as is its due, recognizes God's attributes in everything he sees, and begins to think not according to what the majority of people demand but as God commands. As a result, he takes pleasure from beauty much more than others do, and does not suffer distress from baseless misapprehensions and worldly greed.

These are only a few of the beautiful things a person who thinks will gain in the world. The gain in the hereafter of someone who always finds the truth by thinking, is the love, approval, mercy and the paradise of our Lord, which are above everything else.
by Harun Yahya (

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Multiple Intelligence

Woohoo! for Multiple Intelligence (MI)!

This is actually a contemporary theory in pedagogy (the science of learning) that was founded by Dr. Howard Gardner. It explains that every individual has a unique learning style, which means that when it comes to intelligence and the ability to understand others and the world around us, some people are good at one thing and not at others. Also, a person's intelligence can be perceived in many different areas and not just one or two. And also that different learners learn in different ways, according to their area of Intelligence. Dr. Gardner has identified seven different areas of Intelligence:-

Kinaesthetic - Body Smart
Linguistic - Word Smart
Logical - Number Smart
Interpersonal - People Smart
Intrapersonal - Myself Smart
Musical - Music Smart
Visual/Spatial - Picture Smart
Naturalistic - Nature Smart

The theory would considerably pose a strong criticism on the traditional teaching and evaluating system that requires learners to be tested on certain sets of knowledge that are pre-determined by a set of academic syllabus that may or may not fall within the circle of a learner's area of intelligence. The testing style may also be very limiting and extremely ineffective in determining the learner's true ability and intelligence. Furthermore, the results then would be used to determine the learner's intelligence within the schema of a particular education system that again may or may not allow the opportunity for the learner's area of intelligence to be emphasized.
Very much like our UPSR, all the way to STPM.. You know, if you fail Maths, BM or English & dont get the above average results in certain subjects, don't dream of going to public U kind of thing, not to mention the parents' "stare-of -death" aka "omygod-my-kid-is-a-goner-now" and relatives & friends' "oh-this-is-the-stupid-one-in-the-family" look, etc.
So, don't ever feel bad if you did not do well in a particular subject or exams right. You ARE smart and you are smart at something that others may be lousy at. Be proud of who you are!!
Want to know more about your intelligence? Actually, if you over 15 or 16, you probably would be able to guess it. Anyways, check out this link for brief intro and self-test:-
BTW, the test shows that my intelligence area are Language & Intrapersonal and my worst are Kinaesthetic & Logical. Mmmh...i was the happiest person on the planet when I got C6 (barely passed) in my maths in SPM-after much genuine hard work & my PE teacher only allowed me to pick up the sports stuffs from the store & nothing more.. :p

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

A Poem

This was one of the first poems that I fell in love with.
It captured both innocence and so much of wisdom at the same time.

Revisiting it after so many experiences, becoming someone so different and so distant form that person that I used to be, the message proves to be a very good lesson of life indeed.

For Anne Gregory
by WB Yeats

'Never shall a young man,
Thrown into despair
By those great honey-coloured
Ramparts at your ear,
Love you for yourself alone
And not your yellow hair.'

'But I can get a hair-dye
And set such colour there,
Brown, or black, or carrot,
That young men in despair
May love me for myself alone
And not my yellow hair.'

'I heard an old religious man
But yesternight declare
That he had found a text to prove
That only God, my dear,
Could love you for yourself alone
And not your yellow hair.'

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Love is...

The blue bird is my going-to-be ex-husband. The red bird was me, glued to the wire. But managed to unglue herself and fly away as far as she can.

Ahh..the sweet taste of freedom..

Friday, November 9, 2007


Check out these babies! And they really taste great! And very reasonable price!

More info:-

Yummy!! :-)

Monday, November 5, 2007


Daripada Abu Hurairah r.a. daripada Rasulullah s.a.w, sabdanya:-
Allah berfirman dalam Hadith Qudsi
Barangsiapa yang mendekati Aku dalam jarak sejengkal, maka Aku mendekat padanya dalam jarak sehasta dan barangsiapa yang mendekati Aku dalam jarak sehasta, maka Aku mendekat padanya dalam jarak sedepa. Jikalau hambaKu itu mendatangi Aku dengan berjalan, maka Aku mendatanginya dengan bergegas-gegas."

Muttafaq 'alaih

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Interesting Turn of Events

From the last post to this, my life has completely took a different turn. I'm on the verge of breaking up with my other half when then we were the envy of many troubled couples.

He's been the most tender lover and the biggest jerk ever, all at the same time. Men can do that. And who says you can't figure out women??

Anyways, what I've can say for now is, been there and done with the stream of tears. I've packed my bag & on the way to my parents'. Hope we can still save "what was left" (according to him).

The fact is, only his ego is hurt and everything else is still in tact. The problem is, 99.5% of his existence is made up with his ego. And apparently it has been wiped out cruelly "like a tsunami". So there you go, only 0.5% left and that includes us & everything else. I can see the logic. The only thing is, it doesn't make sense.

Go figure.

Let's see where this ship will land. But I know it's going to land very soon somewhere.

Monday, July 9, 2007

When It Comes to Baju Kurung

My new tropical rainforest design piece..

I know, could have been a gift wrapping paper..or a wallpaper


Monday, July 2, 2007


I’ve just joined a new place a couple of weeks ago. A lot advantages compared to the previous place, perks and material wise. However, one affirmation of life’s lessons on separation and goodbyes:-

Happiness is when you are surrounded by people who know your weaknesses (and strengths) and still appreciate you for who you are.
They make you feel that you are a significant part of their existence and that you have enriched their lives in the way no one else can.
And because of that, they feel the loss at your absence.

My loss is greater as I've lost the presence of so many people I've come to care and love, all at once...

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Thanks bro..

This is a special dedication to my super genius brother who makes my blog look soooooo fabulous..Thanks a mil & luv ya!!!

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Facing Problems

This piece I've read from wanita@jim picked me up in some toughest times.


Have We not caused thy bosom to dilate, (QS. 94:1)
And eased thee of the burden (QS. 94:2) Which weighed down thy back; (QS. 94:3)
And exalted thy fame ? (QS. 94:4)
But lo! with hardship goeth ease, (QS. 94:5)
Lo! with hardship goeth ease; (QS. 94:6) So when thou art relieved, still toil (QS. 94:7)
And strive to please thy Lord. (QS. 94:8)

"The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem." -- Theodore Rubin.
Our lives really begin to change when we learn to shift our perspective on ‘problems.’ When our ego encounters problems, it feels like a victim. "Poor me!" Ego wants life to be heavenly at all times. Anything that interferes with that must be avoided at all costs. From the spiritual perspective, problems are gifts. They offer our best path to growth.
Like it or not, pain gets our attention. Pain also challenges the ego's perception that it is in complete control of life and this opens the door for soul’s guidance. If we want to be rid of the pain, we must do the work that leads us to greater consciousness. Paradoxically, we can only get rid of the pain by moving through it. Always remember that our blocks, wounds and challenges are there to serve our growth by showing us that something needs to change.
The next time you feel "poor me," stop and ask, "What does my soul want to teach me?" Stop and really feel how your personality is reading the situation.
Allow your feelings to just be there without judging them. Now imagine your soul’s view. Allow the wisdom and love of your soul to sit with your personality and your perspective will be transformed.
"No one can go back and make a brand new start. Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." -- Source Unknown

Saturday, June 2, 2007


Can't believe I've actually and finally got around to setting up my own blog... Of course few people have been pestering me. Hope will not take a gazillion years to add posts in between. Don't know where this will get me to..but let's see...

Oh, and by the way, Welcome to My Musings..